Missing You!!!

Have not had this feeling for a long long time. The feeling of longing, of missing someone.
It may not be a good sign,cos nothing good may come out of it, but the feeling is so strong.
Although it's only 2 days, but it feels like eternality......

Quoted from HCI(College Section) Website:

1. HCI has once again done excellently at the 2008 GCE 'A' Level Exam. We set the new national record among JCs with 98.2% scoring Distinctions for Project Work. Also, we double the National Average for 2 years running, 1 in 3 students scored Distinctions in GP, with 97.8% pass. Again, we obtained 100% pass rates in 29 subjects, up from 24 last year.

OVERALL PERFORMANCE·

As with last year’s record-breaking performance,

7 out of 10 students scored at least 3 H2 Distinctions and above.

An impressive number of 174 students who attained 7 Distinctions and more, with 42 students scoring 8 Distinctions and 132 students scoring 7 Distinctions.

· 149 students scored at least one H3 distinction and better.

· Based on the expanded curriculum (11 Academic Units or better), the number of perfect scorers this year is 69.

INDIVIDUAL SUBJECT PERFORMANCE

More good news:· For H2 Biology, 8 out of 10 students attained distinctions.

H2 Mathematics, 8 out of 10 students attained distinctions.

· 8 out of 10 students scored distinctions for H2 Geography, more than double the national average.

Twice the national average for two years running, 1 in 3 students scored a Distinction for General Paper, with 97.8% passes.

· This batch has also set a national record for Project Work, with 98.2% scoring distinctions.· More than 3 times the national average, 7 out of 10 students scored distinctions for H2 Computing.

· 7 out of 10 students scored distinctions for H2 Chemistry.

· For 2 years running, 7 out of 10 students scored distinctions in H2 Art.

Congratulations!!

weeks flew without me knowing what i had actually been doing. Busy with what, i also dun know. Moving in and out of meetings, going home late, doing proposals. Everyday is the same cycle, meetings, meet students,do proposals, sleep. Damn tiring.

But i think it has become a routine. A thing that i have gotten used to, finally, this week.

It seems the work is never-ending.When u thought u have covered one aspect, then u realised u had neglected the other aspect. Arts Enrichment, Band, Civics, Academics, my Exams, i seriously dun know how to prioritise. Arts Enrichment is already such a huge bulky component, which encompass the whole school n Performing Arts, activities internally n externally,it's taking up 70% of my time. Other components, like Band, Civics, Academic n my own studies have to copy the 30%.

I have not met my own expectations. N that's bad

N now i only want to give thanks to the response for the sign up yesterday, the help rendered by Yuxuan for taking time off to come down n conduct the band as well as providing advice. Seriously, i think the band feels more secured with him ard. i truly appreciate all that he had done for them :) And this is my thanksgiving for feb :)

I miss the band really terribly. I totally dislike what i'm doing now, i hate meetings, i hate all the stupid things i have to do.

I just want to go back to where i was last yr, to find the passion in e day-to-day things i do.

The only place where i find e peace n calmness i want is the bandroom. I'm so scared one day it would be taken away from me. THen i have nowhere to run to.

I would give anything to have my new portfolio taken away. Anything.

I was glad that u came into my life but i realised that this is not going to lead us to anywhere. or rather it is not going to lead me to anywhere. I dun really like self-deception,besides feeling can't really be hidden. Even without talking abt it, we know it is there. One gesture, unspoken words, are filled with what we feel.

BUT it has to be put to a stop, like it or not. I dun think i can carry on like this cos it is unfair to u. Just leave things as they r, n let us go back to the past, where things are not so complicated. Pls. It's not abt e feelings but it is abt what is right n what is not.

The whole of this week n last week passed in the midst of all meetings. Meeting students, meeting teachers, thinking of ideas n solutions on how to help CCAs move on/improve their standard n membership. All these took up so much of my time that i DUN have time for my own CCA. I'm apologetic n i'm pissed.

N while i was having all the meetings, not touching band stuff as frequent as i did compared to last yr, i realised i miss what i'm doing for my band, for my DSA.N i'm glad i felt this way, cos it showed that e love is still there.

A lot of things went thru my mind for the past week. New responsibilities come new insights and lots to learn. I dun dislike what i have to do but i just dislike the way pple perceive the new portfolio.

I learnt many new things from my students, I even begin to see some of them in a new light. It's a good thing and I'm happy.

My dear VP Admin of 2008 batch chat with me the other day. He saw i was more +ve as compared to last yr. Mayb many who knew last year's batch would question y is this the case, as in with such a close to perfection band, y would i feel -ve?Seriously i dun know. But as i probe further, i realised it was cos u really need to be involved in something to c it clearly. What pple see is only the surface. Not to say there were many problems but problems had existed then.

I have been thinking real hard, after talking to some students, how/ what can i do to help e band? I was serious in what i said yesterday, i believe living a life with no regrets n while others may perceive that all i care abt is just e award, i know my conscience is clear. The thing i hate most, ever since i took up this profession is to c e students upset. Cos it hurts, really. It hurts me when i see my students cry. My 2008 VPA can attest to that.

Actually all i'm worried abt is, i dun want anyone to have any regrets. N e other concern is, while there are others who care, i really dun wish them to be tied down by those who dun. I dun wish to see their passion dies, see their hopes dashed, see them losing the optimism that things will be better. All these r my fears. Actually it is really not abt sustaining e legacy but just doing ur very best. As long as i know that everyone has tried, I'm happy. Dun give up without even trying, without putting up a fight.

U have revived my love n passion. If u think my intention yesterday was to put u down, then i'm sorry u had interpret it wrongly. But it's cos i'm really out of ideas on how to spur u on, how to encourage n motivate u, how to let u c where i'm coming from. It's so tiring. But i wun give up on u. Not now n not in the future. The fighting spirit has been awakened n it will be sustained.

I'm just so sick of the stupid nonsensical talk abt the fengshui of e room n all, yet i have to put up
with it, esp today. All e crap. Now got to have a camp next weekend......It's just pointless. If things can just change with a camp, it would have been suggested long time ago. Sometimes i really wish that pple would open their eyes n c what is really wrong, then to be so sure of themselves in their belief that they DO know what is wrong. Disgusting.