A lot of things went thru my mind for the past week. New responsibilities come new insights and lots to learn. I dun dislike what i have to do but i just dislike the way pple perceive the new portfolio.

I learnt many new things from my students, I even begin to see some of them in a new light. It's a good thing and I'm happy.

My dear VP Admin of 2008 batch chat with me the other day. He saw i was more +ve as compared to last yr. Mayb many who knew last year's batch would question y is this the case, as in with such a close to perfection band, y would i feel -ve?Seriously i dun know. But as i probe further, i realised it was cos u really need to be involved in something to c it clearly. What pple see is only the surface. Not to say there were many problems but problems had existed then.

I have been thinking real hard, after talking to some students, how/ what can i do to help e band? I was serious in what i said yesterday, i believe living a life with no regrets n while others may perceive that all i care abt is just e award, i know my conscience is clear. The thing i hate most, ever since i took up this profession is to c e students upset. Cos it hurts, really. It hurts me when i see my students cry. My 2008 VPA can attest to that.

Actually all i'm worried abt is, i dun want anyone to have any regrets. N e other concern is, while there are others who care, i really dun wish them to be tied down by those who dun. I dun wish to see their passion dies, see their hopes dashed, see them losing the optimism that things will be better. All these r my fears. Actually it is really not abt sustaining e legacy but just doing ur very best. As long as i know that everyone has tried, I'm happy. Dun give up without even trying, without putting up a fight.

U have revived my love n passion. If u think my intention yesterday was to put u down, then i'm sorry u had interpret it wrongly. But it's cos i'm really out of ideas on how to spur u on, how to encourage n motivate u, how to let u c where i'm coming from. It's so tiring. But i wun give up on u. Not now n not in the future. The fighting spirit has been awakened n it will be sustained.

I'm just so sick of the stupid nonsensical talk abt the fengshui of e room n all, yet i have to put up
with it, esp today. All e crap. Now got to have a camp next weekend......It's just pointless. If things can just change with a camp, it would have been suggested long time ago. Sometimes i really wish that pple would open their eyes n c what is really wrong, then to be so sure of themselves in their belief that they DO know what is wrong. Disgusting.