Somtimes i wonder,is it you or is it me,that dun know what we want? Have we ever thought abt where we stand, in each other's lives? Or we are just comfortable to be where we are at? if this is the case,y do u throw your tantrum at me as n when u like, without giving any thoughts for how i feel? N the irony is, y do i allow u to do it n forgive you time n again?Y do u think i know and understand you as well as u want me to?
It's weird and there seems to be nothing i can do. Cos time and again, as i reflected,what i am doing is constant with what i had been doing.But now, i am confused by your inconsistencies.
Let's take a step back and go back to square one. Maybe it would be better for both of us.It is so painful to love the right person but at the wrong place and the wrong time.
2010/04/26
2010/04/15
Most Memorable Birthday EVER!
The day started with lots of birthday wishes from my students n alumni. Zachary was the 1st to send me the birthday wish :P In school, my Chinese class n band members wished me happy birthday whenever they saw me. It was really sweet of them. Zexun even went to tell his classmates whom i dun even know, that it was my birthday. It was quite embarrassing!
My chinese class, 10S12,gave me a sweet surprise by singing the birthday song(which was really quite loud!) n a sinful,fattening cheese cake. BUt it was really nice! the cake!yum yum!The next surprise came when Russell came me the trophy on behalf of the J2 band members. It was something really quite unexpected cos it has really been a long time since the band or rather a batch has given me a birthday gift. The last batch to do so was the 2006 batch :) But the well-wishes do make my day :)
Besides the trophy, Wansing designed a card with a batch photo taken on the day of the concert. It was such a memorable day :) My birthday ended on a happy note,a day when i felt showered with blessings and love. It was in fact the most memorable birthday i ever had in SAJC. N a surprise came when uncle sim msg me @ 8 plus to wish me happy birthday cos i had never expected him to remember my birthday :P
Then on 14th April,my JC1 band members gave me a real BIG surprise when they gave me a beautiful card,with their well-wishes.I heard that Zachary opened the bandroom every morning to let pple in to sign the card. OMG! it was really such sweet thoughts. Yongxiang lied to me,saying the medal was made of chocolate :o That horrible Brian go n post the video of the "unofficial" gift. So embarrassing!! i will just die!!!!
But the moments then would always be in my mind! To all the Band members and my dear students,thanks for making this last birthday so memorable!!
The day started with lots of birthday wishes from my students n alumni. Zachary was the 1st to send me the birthday wish :P In school, my Chinese class n band members wished me happy birthday whenever they saw me. It was really sweet of them. Zexun even went to tell his classmates whom i dun even know, that it was my birthday. It was quite embarrassing!
My chinese class, 10S12,gave me a sweet surprise by singing the birthday song(which was really quite loud!) n a sinful,fattening cheese cake. BUt it was really nice! the cake!yum yum!The next surprise came when Russell came me the trophy on behalf of the J2 band members. It was something really quite unexpected cos it has really been a long time since the band or rather a batch has given me a birthday gift. The last batch to do so was the 2006 batch :) But the well-wishes do make my day :)
Besides the trophy, Wansing designed a card with a batch photo taken on the day of the concert. It was such a memorable day :) My birthday ended on a happy note,a day when i felt showered with blessings and love. It was in fact the most memorable birthday i ever had in SAJC. N a surprise came when uncle sim msg me @ 8 plus to wish me happy birthday cos i had never expected him to remember my birthday :P
Then on 14th April,my JC1 band members gave me a real BIG surprise when they gave me a beautiful card,with their well-wishes.I heard that Zachary opened the bandroom every morning to let pple in to sign the card. OMG! it was really such sweet thoughts. Yongxiang lied to me,saying the medal was made of chocolate :o That horrible Brian go n post the video of the "unofficial" gift. So embarrassing!! i will just die!!!!
But the moments then would always be in my mind! To all the Band members and my dear students,thanks for making this last birthday so memorable!!
2010/04/01
My last concert came to an official end on 28th March 2010@ Esplanade Concert Hall. It is really my last cos after 27 June 2010, the title of "band teacher" would go down history as this is a position i would never take up again.
It was heartening to know that my JCians enjoyed their performance on stage cos this is one of the objectives of the concert.
Of course i had heard comments abt this concert. I understand and accept the different feedback. In fact, it was all within expectations. And all these feedback threw me back into the initial dilemma again. They kept me thinking for days, after the concert,till i realised i'm going in circles. In the end,i gave up. The main reason for me giving up was, all the thinking was affecting in a -ve manner, to the extent that i dreaded going for wed prac......
For the entire month of March, it was solely devoted to band concert preparation. There were so many ups and downs but i was grateful for the pple who were there with me thru'out.
The most memorable moments were spent in band camp, with the jcians. Tho every night, there was a late night discussion and a crisis which ocurred that made me miss my NODAME!!! midnight show!!!! on sat (2nd day of band camp,was supposed to watch with uncle sim) but the crisis was more pressing. We had mcdonald's supper on 2nd night till 3am plus plus, and before that, i was engaged in a 5hr discussion with uncle sim on the concert rehearsal schedule. Come to think of it,i dun really recall what we had discussed. But i dun think for the entire 5 hrs,we were concentrating solely on the schedule. Oh well. nvr mind.
3rd day of band camp,haha,got personalized mcdonald's breakfast delivery from uncle sim. It was REALLY sweet of him and also for remembering how many packets of creamer n sugar i need for my tea :) so i shall forgive him for not answering my morning calls on that sun (the 1st time i ever encounter someone who ask me to give morning calls but dun wake up :P)
Over the 3 days of band camp, we shared a lot with each other. Or rather, it was more of him sharing with me his unhappiness rather than me saying anything. I think it is nice to be given the chance to understand each other better.
After that, i left for Shanghai and it was REALLY NICE of him to remember that i'm returning on sat cos he sent me an sms to ask me abt the trip n once again, there was quite some nonsense going on via sms.
We went to Starbucks with Chen Lin on 26th Mar and stayed till ard 12.30am. Cracked lots of joke n talked nonsense again. i realised we were always talking nonsense :P actually i did not know he was waiting for me to leave on 26th mar till he came to ask me "are you done?" cos i was happily counting $$. haha
the next SWEET thing that he did for this month was he gave me a bottle of chicken essence on concert day. It was TOTALLY unexpected but it was a sweet gesture.
on 31st mar,that naughty brian n joel wanted to go home n leave me n uncle sim at mcdonald to discuss the exco list.OMG!but luckily we all went and had a long discussion. the long discussion was mostly between joel n uncle,cos brian n i were too restless n so we ended up talking to each other.
as i looked back,i realised we spent a lot of time together this month,sharing each other's growth n experiences. It was nice and it certainly helps in our working relationship.
now that the concert is over, there are still things to do:
1) Band Dinner preparatio
2)Induction of Ex-Co n leaders
3)teaching n learning
4)arts enrichment framework
5)activities for h1cl Arts students
6)band trip
I realised there are really lots to complete before i leave :(
It was heartening to know that my JCians enjoyed their performance on stage cos this is one of the objectives of the concert.
Of course i had heard comments abt this concert. I understand and accept the different feedback. In fact, it was all within expectations. And all these feedback threw me back into the initial dilemma again. They kept me thinking for days, after the concert,till i realised i'm going in circles. In the end,i gave up. The main reason for me giving up was, all the thinking was affecting in a -ve manner, to the extent that i dreaded going for wed prac......
For the entire month of March, it was solely devoted to band concert preparation. There were so many ups and downs but i was grateful for the pple who were there with me thru'out.
The most memorable moments were spent in band camp, with the jcians. Tho every night, there was a late night discussion and a crisis which ocurred that made me miss my NODAME!!! midnight show!!!! on sat (2nd day of band camp,was supposed to watch with uncle sim) but the crisis was more pressing. We had mcdonald's supper on 2nd night till 3am plus plus, and before that, i was engaged in a 5hr discussion with uncle sim on the concert rehearsal schedule. Come to think of it,i dun really recall what we had discussed. But i dun think for the entire 5 hrs,we were concentrating solely on the schedule. Oh well. nvr mind.
3rd day of band camp,haha,got personalized mcdonald's breakfast delivery from uncle sim. It was REALLY sweet of him and also for remembering how many packets of creamer n sugar i need for my tea :) so i shall forgive him for not answering my morning calls on that sun (the 1st time i ever encounter someone who ask me to give morning calls but dun wake up :P)
Over the 3 days of band camp, we shared a lot with each other. Or rather, it was more of him sharing with me his unhappiness rather than me saying anything. I think it is nice to be given the chance to understand each other better.
After that, i left for Shanghai and it was REALLY NICE of him to remember that i'm returning on sat cos he sent me an sms to ask me abt the trip n once again, there was quite some nonsense going on via sms.
We went to Starbucks with Chen Lin on 26th Mar and stayed till ard 12.30am. Cracked lots of joke n talked nonsense again. i realised we were always talking nonsense :P actually i did not know he was waiting for me to leave on 26th mar till he came to ask me "are you done?" cos i was happily counting $$. haha
the next SWEET thing that he did for this month was he gave me a bottle of chicken essence on concert day. It was TOTALLY unexpected but it was a sweet gesture.
on 31st mar,that naughty brian n joel wanted to go home n leave me n uncle sim at mcdonald to discuss the exco list.OMG!but luckily we all went and had a long discussion. the long discussion was mostly between joel n uncle,cos brian n i were too restless n so we ended up talking to each other.
as i looked back,i realised we spent a lot of time together this month,sharing each other's growth n experiences. It was nice and it certainly helps in our working relationship.
now that the concert is over, there are still things to do:
1) Band Dinner preparatio
2)Induction of Ex-Co n leaders
3)teaching n learning
4)arts enrichment framework
5)activities for h1cl Arts students
6)band trip
I realised there are really lots to complete before i leave :(
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