Many things ran thru my mind today as I listened to my band practice Flower Power.

Dun know starting from when, the words “SAJC Concert Band”, let it be when they were spoken
or written as I signed off emails or documents, they are merely words. Words which I had
accepted them to be, with no emotional attachment.

When I started my career, these very words used to be associated with pride. Proud to be a
member of this group of musicians. Anyone in the earlier batches would tell u that I had
performed with them during Open House and Chinese New Year, playing the mallets for Glasnost
and When the Saints Go Marching In. It was a fantastic experience. Family.They may not be
fantastic musicians but they strove to be.

As the years went by, the pride n the passion did not die. Even though, yr in yr out, I was doing
the same monotonous stuff, I had never lost my passion. Till one day, it just disappeared. It
disappeared not cos of disappointments, but I just can’t find it.

I think I lost it on the day when to me ,SAJC Concert Band means sustaining the legacy of the past, holding it up, keeping it complete. It’s a huge burden. I no longer see these words as a batch by batch thing, but rather the whole picture. I lost the passion not cos it’s a burden, but cos pple who have the most direct influence on the survival of this band do not share my vision. I shared my vision, repeated it, but to no avail. I was alone, wondering helplessly. I struggled, lost my way, blamed myself for my incompetency and thought of the disappointment of their predecessors who had built this band from scratch to what it is today. Alumni came back to help cos they had good memories of their times in this band. What would happen if one day they realized it was not what they had always been so familiar with?

That yr, I lost my passion completely. It was also that yr, I learnt the hard truth. If u want to get things, do it yourself. Be grateful if help was offered along the way. I strengthened my character. But all this had changed me. I still share my vision, but I dun hold the hope of anyone believing in it like I do.

Today’s practice touched me deeply. Twins was the 1st piece which brought tears to my eyes, till one day, they could not play Twins like they used to. Flower Power was the 2nd piece that made me cry, not cos it was a touching piece but cos they made my belief come true. It was not an easy task to keep believing in pple unconditionally, faced disappointments, got up n believe again, repeating the cycle yr after yr. Things may have happened along our journey but I kept my faith. I told no one abt my expectations n faith but deep down, I believe they can achieve it one day.

Yes, maybe we will go back to square on again. I choose to believe, in a more optimistic sense, having been there, we will achieve it again. I had waited for 4 months since the Perth trip, what’s another few months? I hope this has re-ignited the passion in some members. Thank u for helping me recover my passion. “SAJC Concert Band” now means more than what it was to me. It symbolizes hope and one day, musicality. Of the Batch of 2008.