There are many many thoughts going thru my mind now. Many things which i dun understand. Every time i c u,you just have the ability to mess up all my thoughts and emotions. At first when i knew abt the rumours/heresay concerning u,i gave u the benefit of a doubt. Cos unless u tell me personally,i would never believe what anyone says.Maybe if i have believed the heresay,i would have been happier. and in the end,it turns out to be the untruth.

The memories we shared kept replaying themselves in my mind for the past few days. I know there are many moments when u had been superbly unkind/mean to me,with total disregard to my feelings. U knew that as well,when u said those words to me.But u never apologised,except once,maybe cos u feel that i would understand and forgive in the end. Which i did. When u went the extra mile and did what u did in june,i was really touched cos it is the greatest gift and the only thing which u had done for me. i truly treasured what happened on that day,that night when u told me u rehearsed the whole thing, n the parting hug.

But when the fateful incident happened 2 weeks later,suddenly i realised our friendship is so fragile cos we did not recover from that hurt. a barrier was suddenly built between us. everything we told abt was just formalities. maybe in the 1st place,we did not have any friendship to fall back on.we just mistook it for friendship cos we spent lots of time together due to work. If we take the work component away,there is nothing for us to talk abt. what u had told me in the past,can be just said to anyone who comes along.

but it is too late.emotions are put in.i know why u said i'm complicating ur life.if u believe that what is haunting u is going to be an issue for me,all i can say is,it is not.but u have never asked me if i can accept it.the method u chose is to push me away.n when there are times when u cannot push me away,u let ur feelings run free.but u did not realise this hot and cold treatment is more hurting.u cannot decide for me,u need to ask me.i so wanted to tell u that u can't push me away.cos i'm stubborn,as stubborn as u. No one can change my mind if i have decided on something.If u can ignore our age differences, y does the difference in our financial status/job positions bother u so much? Why do u,like the guys i know,put pride above love?can u stop comtradicting yourself and stop letting the trivial things bother u?

Do u have any idea how difficult it is for 2 persons to meet and even develop feelings?Do u know that happiness is something that is so fragile and can slip pass so easily?u can give me all the cold shoulder you want,ignore my sms,but ur eyes dun lie.Just when i thought u have really given up,ur eyes gave u away.no matter how strong a front u put up,i see the emotions in ur eyes last week,when they followed me wherever i go,thru every actions i did. can u pls,just listen to ur heart?

I cannot let go of my own happiness. U can tell me how wonderful other guys are,but u are not me.u are the only one i want to be with.Do u understand,seriously?If one day,my heart goes cold,my hopes are all dashed,my waiting becomes history,would u truly be happy?If this is the outcome u want to c,i can force myself to do it,all u need to do is just say it.I will do it if u say it,but i will NEVER forgive u. NEVER.